Unfortunately, it is inevitable that some marriages will end in divorce. When a divorce happens and a relationship is over it can have a lasting effect on the people involved, most notably children. Sometimes an unintended consequence is that children experience short-term and long-term effects from having parents that are divorced. Huffpost writer, Robert Hughes, addressed some of the issues that children with parents that are divorced deal with and some of the causes.
According to the article there are two common mechanisms at play in marriages that end in divorce,1) how conflicts are managed and 2) the commitment to the marriage. Children learn from watching their parents. This is especially true when it comes to learning how married couples interact with each other. For instance, if the child’s parents communicate positively then they are more likely to communicate that way themselves. Children are also able to observe how quickly their parents get angry. In fact, according to studies, children who grow up in households in which their parents do not manage conflicts or disagreements well are more likely to have similar issues in their own relationships. Studies have also shown that divorce can also impact a child’s attitude toward marriage. Children with parents who are divorced have a less positive attitude toward marriage and a lower commitment to maintaining romantic ties.
The main premise behind this article is that while there are studies that show the impact a divorce can have on a child there is no guarantee that the child’s relationships will be negatively impacted. The key is to discuss the changes with the child as they are happening and to be considerate of the child’s feelings. In cases where the parents are divorcing or have divorced it is important to ensure that the child has healthy examples of the two of you interacting with each other. It is not a good idea to allow the child to see the two of you arguing if it can be helped. It goes without saying that children are impressionable and will learn from example, even when we don’t think they are paying attention. Lastly, because divorce can be traumatic it is always a good idea to seek counseling for the children involved.
The Faucette Law Firm represents and guides clients through divorce, custody, spousal support, adoptions and modification related matters. We regularly come into contact with clients impacted by these same issues. It is important to seek guidance from an experienced specialized professional. Contact us today for a consultation.