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Is It Time for A Divorce?

The signs that we may need to evaluate our marital relationship can be all around us. Sometimes it comes in the form of persistent arguments, infidelity or simply a feeling that the relationship isn’t providing the same fulfillment it once was. The question becomes, how can you tell if you should begin to consider divorce or work to maintain the relationship? A recent Atlanta Journal and Constitution article by Rose Kennedy looked at some of the reasons experts recommend couples consider divorce and some reasons to salvage a marriage.

According to a 2015 national survey, one in four spouses have thought about divorce in the last six months. With people living longer, marriage has become more about self-fulfillment and personal happiness. Along with this comes very high expectations as to what makes a marriage successful. The article also mentions a list compiled by therapist and relationship experts where they tend to lean towards the marriage heading in the direction of a divorce.

Couples may want to consider divorce when:

  • Domestic violence has been exhibited during the marriage
    • This can take the form of physical and emotional abuse by one party against another.
  • Continuous engagement in extra-marital affairs
    • Some couples are able to move past infidelity. However, instances where one spouse refuses to end the affair is a sign that there is a lack of commitment to the marriage.
  • A spouse has cheated and keeps the former lover as a “friend”
  • You’re no longer willing to make an effort.
    • This is really at the heart of most divorce cases. Both parties have to be willing to work on the relationship in order to have a chance at success.
  • The marriage is stopping you from reaching goals or being yourself.
    • Marriages that require a spouse to put aside personal goals, that isolates you from friends and family, limits what you are allowed to do for entertainment or that requires you to change your belief system are valid reasons to seriously consider ending the relationship, according to experts.

Although the AJC article describes instances where experts tend to lean towards the couple considering a divorce, it also recognizes that even strong marriages have rough patches. For instance:

  • infidelity may not automatically signal that the marriage is headed for divorce
    • Experts recognize that most infidelities are a symptom of a problem in the relationship. They don’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with the person who cheated or the person being cheated on. When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they are more likely to be able to work on the relationship.
  • You still feel emotionally safe with your spouse
  • Most shared memories make you smile
    • When times are tough people tend to reflect on happier times and hope they get them back.
  • Neither spouse wants the divorce.

Divorce is not a decision that couples reach without a considerable amount of thought and reflection. It is hard to know when you should continue to work on the marriage or throw in the towel. The decision to end the marriage when domestic violence is present or a spouse has stopped putting in the effort to work on the relationship are the most clear examples given by the experts as to when a marriage is most likely heading towards a divorce.

The Faucette Law Firm, LLC represents clients in all family law and divorce-related matters, including contested and uncontested divorce, child support, child custody, spousal support, legitimation, adoptions and modifications. Whether you are considering a divorce and would like to know more about the process or have decided that you are ready to move forward our law firm will give you all of your options and guide you through the process. We serve, Atlanta, Fulton, Cobb, Douglas, Clayton, Fayette, Gwinnett, DeKalb, Carroll and Coweta. Contact our law firm today for a consultation.

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